Patients - a learning experience

I had some interesting experiences this past week, and not all of a medical nature. I have learned some things and my eyes were opened. I learned these things from patients. These experiences have caused me to think: who is truly being helped? Are we helping them, or are they really the ones helping us? Where would we be without them, the pt?

A quick preface. I love people, always have, love to be around them, talk with them, and interact with them. If I could sit in the room with a pt for 30 minutes just talking about regular random things I would. I love learning from them and through their lives and experiences. That is part of why I wanted to become a doctor. I wanted to help people, but I also wanted to be part of their lives in a way that most people don’t have the opportunity to do. There is so much we can learn from others, regardless of what positions they occupy in this world. These lessons are learned through viewing people’s actions or by listening, really listening to people’s words.

Experience #1: On Wednesday, two interesting people came into the office, and with them, a very special woman. These two pts, a brother and a sister were both deaf and blind. They are both in their sixties. Their mother took care of them, but a couple of years before her death an angel stepped in. A women who was not a blood relative, but felt compelled to help. This woman took over their care, taking them into her own house, giving their mother a well deserved rest from her many years of hard work. When their mother died, this woman continued to care for them. They currently live in the home their mother owned. This saintly woman goes over daily to administer their medications and prepare them a meal. She communicates with them as Anne Sullivan communicated with Helen Keller. In addition to the responsibility of caring for two deaf-blind people, she and her husband have eight children, some of them theirs and others foster. Sitting in the exam room and watching this woman communicate with these two people I was taken by the love and care that she showed them. Although noticeably tired she communicated with these pts with love and tenderness. When complemented for her service brushed it off as if it were nothing; but that is far from the reality of what she does. Without her, these two would live in complete darkness and silence, with no way of communicating. Through her actions this woman showed me this week what it truly means to serve.

Experience #2: Yesterday morning I had the privilege of meeting a wonderful couple, they had been married for over 50 years, had 6 children, and 8 grandchildren. As I went into the room to talk to this pt and find out her symptoms I made small talk, just trying to get to know them a little. Before me sat a woman with Parkinson’s, in her late 70’s, hunched over, her age definitely showing. She looked much older than her 79 yrs, but when her age came up I commented that she looked good for 79. Her husband’s response brought a smile to my face. “Your damn right she looks good for 79, she looks great.” I looked at them both after that statement and saw a smile, a look, a brief glance pass between them; something that had the power to portray in a fraction of a second what their 50+ years together had meant to them both. Were they easy years? I don’t know, probably not, but I do know that through the good and the bad it had all been worth it to that point. That is what that one glance stated, his words a testament of his continued love. That is love, we too often forget why we originally “fell in love” with that one person. We don’t want to work through the hard times, we see beauty fade after years of work and hard times and decide that a newer model, something different, would be better, and it is all thrown away. Why? Could it ever be better than what I described above? I say no. Fifty years from now I want to be sitting across from my wife, our good looks will be gone, replaced with wrinkles and grey, but to each other we will still possess that beauty, an inner beauty and strength that we have cultivated together through the good and the bad times, and I will say to anyone that brings it up: “Your damn right she looks good for 79, she looks great;” we will look at each other, that glance and smile will pass between us, and we will know that we have made it to this point, and that every moment has been worth it, the good and the bad.

So although I saw around one hundred pts this past week, was able to cut off some skin tags, assist in a toenail removal, and learned various things about the practice of medicine. I also learned some wonderful things about life, and about what our purpose is in this world. What it really comes down to is service, pure unselfish service, no motives and not strings attached, and love. Not to sound corny, but isn’t that what medicine is really about; we serve and to some degree we love our pts, some more than others, but regardless there is some level of love, that compassion within each of us that moves and compels us to act and to serve.